Lol newgrounds.com/art/view/13badass/plants-vs-zombies-porn

lmao

Imma play “plants vs zombies garden warfare 2” instead lmao

Me bitches! The police finally let me out the slammer for my drug cartel

Even a new character, joshow! (i got some spicy art of him for some of you horny fucks out there!)

"One time i created something, called a thurrito. It's a burrito within a burrito within the heart of that same burrito." -13BADASS

"It's the drumbeat to which our spirits dance. It's only the size of a fist but it packs alot more punch. Some folks say its every beat is the sound of Tom Fulp kicking an angel in the face. I want to spread that angel beating around to those less fortunate than me." -13BADASS

Hanzo: What doth life? (Echoing: Life, life, life) Are we just fleshy blips in some meaningless stew of cosmic oblivion? Or is it vice-reversa? Is our every trollop through fate's garden infused with a mystic...

Cyclops: Hey, bunghole, cease that inner yapping.

Hanzo: I don't want no trouble, mister.

Cyclops: Freak! If you didn't want trouble, you shouldn't have wandered into Philadelphia.

Hanzo: Please, I'm just a simple seeker on a spirit quest to discover... What doth life? (Echoing: Life...)

[Cyclops grabs Hanzos Shakushiri and throws it to the ground]

Hanzo: You're gonna regret that.You've shattered my shakhashuri!

Damien: Oh Yeah,take this d-d-d-d-d-dong!

Cyclops: Hanzo,You Best stay away from that weirdo. You'll catch the AIDS.

A-BOT: What's the matter, ch-ch-chicken? Frightened? Or do you prefer, what's the matter, chicken? F-f-frightened?

Hanzo: Please walk away. You may need my help someday. Walk away. (Echoes: Walk away...)

A-BOT: Yeah, help me punch your neck off.

(A-BOT Punches Hanzos Neck off,hanzo straight up fucking dies)

William: Hell nah💀

PICO VS BOYFRIEND

by:13BADASS

[Pico and Strawberry clock are standing in a phone booth, dialing a number.]

Boyfriend: Hello?

Pico: Hello?

Boyfriend: Who's this?

Pico: WHO'S THIS?!?! Bitch,I'm asking the questions. I called YOU,and you sound like the UGLIEST son of a bitch i've ever heard.

Boyfriend: You sound like the Physical Manifestation of some Losers' inner Demons(Looking at you Tom Fulp).

Pico: Well, you sound like some total chodes' inability to confront the reality of his past actions(Looking at you ninjamuffin99,remember the time you done crack? i did crack once, i woke up with a asshole the size of a goddamn melon!.)

Strawberry Clock: If I ever get YOUR stinky mug in my Line of Sight, I swear to Jackov I'll cock your clock off!

Boyfriend: Well I'M going to be the bigger man and hang up fi-

[A Dial Tone sounds, implying it was Pico who hung up first.]

Boyfriend: Damn it!

SCENE 2

 Pico: Listen, we don't cut into frеaks 'round these parts. Scram, weirdo!

Boyfriend: Oh, yeah? I don't polycotton to Coping Tropes, even my own, so why don't you split?

Pico: Looks like I already did. You're the sad figment of my twisted psyche's tragic dividend. You're the UN-Me, I'm the REAL me, you Wanna-Be! Me!

Strawberry Clock: Hate 2 break it to ya, but I watched pico fuck your girlfriend,i even have photos to prove it.

Pico:ME bequeefed THEE, the psychopathological hand-you-downs.

Boyfriend: So YOU'RE father!

Pico:Whoever found it, fucked it!

Boyfriend: You'd like me to be you, wouldn't me? But it's too late; You Snoze, You Loze.

Pico: You sleeped. i ate your girlfriend pussy.

Boyfriend: You naple, you get slaple.

Pico: You slumber, a cucumber!

Strawberry Clock: I catch up on some zeds, you get out of my heads!

P-BOT: You slumber, ham-BURGER I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT NOTHIN' ELSE!

Boyfriend: P-BOT, i dunno what to do,This guy might be better than me😔.

Pico: You're right. I AM better than you.

[Tom Fulp walks in]

Tom Fulp: Look, boyfriend. Know when you're defeated. Except  your defacation!

Boyfriend: No thanks. I'm full. Because ate breakfast.

Tom Fulp: Oh yeah? Your Mom's so shallow, she probably thinks this quip is about her!

Boyfriend: Alright, say what you want about ME, but lay off the soup.

[Tom Fulp Leaves]

Strawberry Clock: If you LOVE Soup so much, why don't you marry Soup?

Boyfriend: Because, I'm already married to Girlfriend

Pico:Not until i ate her pussy for breakfast lmao.

Boyfriend: Oh yeah? Well, when God was passing out Insight, you thought he... said... that... when God was passing out Holy Prophets, you thought he said oily faucets! Cuz your soul... has diarrhea. Of the mouth faucet

Pico: [At a lost of words].

Boyfriend: Checkmate

Pico: Oh! So you admit that you're checking me out and you want to mate

MEANWHILE, SOMEWHERE IN NEVADA...

.Hank Motherfucking Wimbleton: Ooh! You got a license to sell hot dogs, hotdog man?

Hotdog Vendor Guy: No. They wouldn't give it to me, because when I was filling out the application, my penis was sticking out.

MEANWHILE,BACK WITH PICO AND BOYFRIEND

 Pico: My penis is much bigger than yours!

Boyfriend: Oh, yeah? Let me see it.

 Strawberry Clock: See with your eyes, not with your mouth.

P-BOT: He will call your bluff. Me and him see picos penis with your mouth, and I raise you with my hand.

Boyfriend: Auugh! Damn it!

P-BOT: What's wrong?

Boyfriend: I jizzed in my pants, but I'm tough. I can suck it up.

Pico: Ok. Count of three, we show what's in our pants.

P-BOT and Strawberry Clock:Wiener take all.

Boyfriend and Pico: One, two, three!

(The two take there pants off,picos dick is bigger)

 Boyfriend: DAMMIT!

THE END

Quote from Darnell

Darnell:This happy place holds magic meaning, for 'twas my mother's nickname. Truckers, delivery guys, men coming in and out of the house all day called her the Grand Canyon, but I never knew why. It's just a great wide gash, spread open for the enjoyment of all to come inside as he pleases and pleasures. Often there's a donkey in there.

Nene:(Sees a gay couple) YEE HUH?!?!?!?!

FUCK ACID DO COCAINE